On Saturday, The Times Magazine published an article with some of their columnists writing about “things they wish they had known.” It was a great article, and I thought I’d do the same…

1. So many of the columnists wrote about having children. You may or may not want children. I don’t have any, and that’s fine. I don’t find anyone bothers me about it. On the downside, I may not have anyone to look after me in my old age, but I don’t have to go to kids’ birthday parties, either. Or soft play.
2. No job, or relationship, for that matter, is worth your physical or mental health. It’s amazing how surprised (and very much better) you will feel when you do leave or allow things to end, because it won’t fall apart without you, and you won’t fall apart without the awful presence of the job that wasn’t right or a bad for you partner, any longer. I’m not advocating running out into the street screaming; I’m just asking, is it making you happy?
3. Never, ever beg, or feel like you have to beg, to stay in a relationship. Most of us think we have to keep going, keep smiling, don’t ever give up. In theory, this is amazing advice. However, it gets exhausting always being the one suggesting, planning and being constantly cheerful as the other person says that they might be free in 6 weeks, or they would really love to see you, but they’re actually running around Salisbury Plain or similar in combat gear, chucking dummy grenades about before then. A lot. Sometimes, you just have to give up and wait for calm to descend, which is a much better feeling than anxiety and invisibility.
4. Manners do matter. I don’t mean chivalry, I mean everyone saying thank you, saying hello, listening, saying someone looks nice, being helpful. I don’t really like the phrase “be kind” because it has been devalued by overuse. I prefer “Just be decent.” It’s a fairly low bar. Most of us can be that and do that.
5. Someone’s relationship status (or lack of it), is not your entertainment. The clown shoes have to come off sometime; being single doesn’t always have to = being funny.
6. It’s very important to appreciate and enjoy good health when you have it, and that may mean that one week is good, one week not so good. Or one day is amazing, the next may tire you out. One day at a time.
7. The most important things in life, in no particular order, are living in peace,  health,  family, and friends.
8. I should have started paying into my pension earlier. Oh well.
9. You don’t have to wait for everyone else’s permission to do something that you would like or love to do. I mean travelling, working in a new place, painting your flat pink, adopting a pet, buying too many books, writing a blog post because it has been ages and you’re rubbish at taking your own advice…you know what I mean.
10. You can never have too many books, especially unread ones… and always have your favourite tea bags with you, and you won’t be disappointed.  What do you wish you had known? Let me know and thank you for reading. 📚. 😊